Dressing for Success or Suc-sex?

T's Toes

The trade-off for having to listen to us is getting to look at us!

By T.L. Dayen

Objectification…. That one “feminist” term that you’ll find in every feminist genre. We all know what it is, and most of us are complicit! Let’s face it; we have no choice. Either we look like “women” or we don’t. The truth is the majority of girls in the U.S. anyway, are concerned with their appearance on a scale that ranges from at least brushing one’s hair to spending 2 hours a day “prepping” before they leave the house. I’ve known many women who confess they never leave the house without make-up. They couldn’t imagine it. Don’t get me wrong; I know many girls that could care less about dressing or looking like a woman, but those are not the women I’m speaking to right now, and I’ll be addressing our gay and rebel sisters later on. But even those of us [females] who choose to not play the “lady” game will at least be color coordinated – hell, even Goth is just complimentary shades of black – with a pop of red.

All girls from a very young age are taught that their “appearance” is crucial to their “female” identity. We are taught that it is our female duty to let others know through our appearance that we know we’re a woman and we understand what that “looks like.”


So what does “looking like a woman” really mean?
How are we complicit in our own objectification?

Female objectification or “treating a [female] merely as an instrument of sexual pleasure, making them a “sex object;” is the oldest tool in the shed of the dominant male ego for keeping gender division intact and the human female subordinated and marginalized. And when I say “oldest” I mean that female objectification is so resolutely entrenched within our global human social construct, that even women believe that this is “natural;” for the most part, we’ve accepted that women are expected to be pleasing to the eye of the human male. Women have internalized this socially constructed “rule” to the point that we compete with ourselves and one another as to how “pleasing” we are to “look” at. How many men stand in the front of the mirror trying on three different outfits until they’re satisfied that their “ass” or “waist line” doesn’t “look too big?” How many men claim to be having a “bad hair day?” Why are these things apparently so important to women? The animal mind of the male ego has conditioned the human female over tens of thousands of years to present ourselves to the world [men] in a manner that lets men know that we know we have a vagina and we know what that vagina is for – them! We “display” ourselves – in a sexually pleasing manner; and many of us pride ourselves on how well we do it!

successful woman

“Just because I look “sexy,” does NOT mean I think “ditsy!”

This is where things start to get complicated. This is where the female image of the social construct and reality begin to “butt heads;” because ladies, we have understandably invested in this socially constructed female image over thousands of years as a sense of pride and yes, even personal power. But it was the animal mind of the male ego that created this female image over thousands of years because of what this image really means to them, and how that manifests for us. I say “complicated,” because I’m not suggesting “unisex,” and so in that case, what are we really to do about female objectification? What we really need to do is take the sex out of the female body and put it in the bedroom between two consenting adults where it belongs!! It’s time that females stop taking responsibility for the oversexed, immature, one-tracked animal mind of the sexually controlling male ego that cannot gaze upon skin without seeing “sex.” And yes, ladies, it’s time that we start taking responsibility for the fact that we are more than our appearance. Women must stop associating sex with our own bodies if we are to break free from the dominant sexually controlling male ego global social construct of female objectification. We cannot have it both ways! But alas, the male ego is counting on us to continue to try and do just that!

You see, if we don’t look like “women” we’re socially chastised as too masculine (not “sex”y). If we do look like “women” we’re complicit in our own sexual objectification. This is simply fighting the male ego on its own turf within its own socially constructed image of the female – It’s a losing battle that we cannot win!

The Female Imperative is finally giving both men and women of “human mind” the permission to STEP OUTSIDE THE MALE EGO FEMALE IMAGE and to stop letting our “sex” determine our “consciousness;” our own or others. Sex is not our bodies. Sex is not our personalities. Sex is not our roles, our functions, our self-perceptions, our value, our worth. Sex is NOT our clothing or our accessories – or lack thereof. Sex is something we choose to do when, why, how and with whom we choose to do it. Our sex does NOT define us. Our consciousness defines us, and our consciousness is NOT our sex!

Consider that it is ONLY women who must bear the burden of this principle. In other words, the “sex is our bodies and therefore our purpose” principle according to the male ego image of the female is only displayed by the woman. Men do not hold themselves to the same standard. In fact, they can all look the same, and still be considered “virile.” The male uniform, or “suit,” simply says it all about their virility; “I wear a suite. I have a penis; period!”

men 1

But it goes further than that. The male uniform (suit or pants/shirt) doesn’t just indicate masculinity (virile penis) it also says, “Don’t look at me. Listen to me.” In other words, men do not want to draw attention to their bodies, because that would distract from the allure of their “intellect.” Men do not have to draw attention to their penis to be considered virile, and if they do, they are considered by their peers to be foolish, narcissistic and anything but intellectual. For women on the other hand, it’s just the opposite. If we are not drawing attention to our “femininity” through seeking attention to our appearance, then our self-awareness is questioned, and therefore so is our psychological “stability.” Our intellect doesn’t even factor into the equation. In fact, the further a woman climbs the ladder of authoritative success, the greater the pressure on her to inform the world (and her co-workers) through her appearance that she hasn’t forgotten she’s got a vagina.

From TFI:
“Girls are taught the female image seeks attention, but boys are taught the male image seeks respect. Respect is a suit and tie. Attention is a form fitting sleeveless V-neck that accentuates the hips and breasts; exposes skin; a pair of pumps that accentuate the legs and lifts a woman’s butt; earrings that draw attention to a woman’s cosmetically altered eyes and a necklace that draws attention to her cleavage and slender neck. I’ve just described to you two typical news anchors sitting side by side on a nightly broadcast. One image is saying, “Listen to me. I am [intelligent] man” while the other image is saying “Look at me. I am [sexual] female.”

“The civilized dominant male ego has cunningly constructed a modern society that maintains the appearance of social equality while still marginalizing a woman’s authority within that society to the presentation of her body parts. The more authority a woman has in the male ego dominated society, the more her sexuality is scrutinized, analyzed and objectified. This is the male ego rule; “If I have to listen to you, then you must remind me that you know you’re still a woman when I look at you.”

“I am speaking here only about women in positions of authority and leadership in finance, politics and the corporate world; where, by the way, the female perspective is so desperately needed in the 21st century. I am not speaking of women in research, medicine and academia. The very sectors of humanity where the male ego is doing the most damage to humanity and our world are the very sectors where female sexual objectification is the most rampant; marginalizing her contribution by objectifying her body.” (Excerpts from Chapter 26)

This was illustrated just recently when Senator Kristen Gillibrand confessed in her recent book that she, as a Senator from New York, has endured comments about her “body” and her “appearance” by her own Senate colleagues. This comes as no surprise to me, but what many don’t seem to acknowledge is that if Senator Gillibrand was a “secretary” or an “intern,” these “advances” would be considered completely inappropriate and possibly criminal sexual harassment in the workplace. But because she is a “colleague;” not in a position of servitude, she’s expected to just “suck it up;” “deal with it.”


The beltway press has been having a field day with Gillibrand’s refusal to “name names.” But many (especially women) are rightly pointing out that if she does name the offenders, then her career will forever be “defined” by the fact that she “couldn’t keep her mouth shut.” She will be seen as “weak.” Ironically however, if she were these men’s secretary, her revelations would be considered “courageous;” but as a supposed “equal” among the power brokers in D.C., she now has the obligation to play by the rules of women in positions of authority: that is if a woman is no longer in some kind of physical or domestic servitude, she is now in [sexually] visual servitude – that’s the trade-off! And as Stewart and I explain in TFI, this trade-off is the brilliant mechanism of the male ego to maintain the appearance of equality in the 21st century while still maintaining the female image of sexual purpose and servitude, which effectually negates the authenticity and originality of the intellectual contribution of the human female among male global power brokers.

TFI spends a great deal of time explaining not just blatant, but also nuanced female oppression and subordination in all its facets and phases. We spend a great deal of time explaining how and why the animal mind of the male ego uses female oppression and subordination to keep the male and female consciousness “separate” and how this effectually strengthens the male ego and feeds his need for battle and dominance. TFI explains how men and women of “human mind” are “going down with the ship.” TFI also explains how this can be corrected – and why it must.

We call on all of you to join in the EVOLUTION REVOLUTION!


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